Donald David Joseph

 The Eulogy of 

I would like to begin with a poem I wrote for my much-loved uncle, the true leader of our family…

it is entitled, simply “Giant”

GIANT

(for Uncle Don)

He was our Mount Everest

our Great Pyramid

our footprints on the moon.

All that he became 

all that he believed

are echoes of the ancestors

whose lives he treasured

whose spirit he imparted.

He was our Mount Olympus

our Cedars of Lebanon

our heredity earth.

All that he taught

all that he exampled

are reaffirmations of the lineage

whose blood he coursed

whose names he carried as a badge of honor.

He was our Atlantic and Pacific 

our Alpha and Omega

our deepest, sturdiest roots

For more than half a century

he captained this family’s vessel -

Even thru raging storms 

he found us peaceful harbor.

All that he commanded

Yea…all that he breathed 

are reverberations 

of those 

whose lives he prized -

of those

whose lives he altered…

and in the end

we are never left to wonder where he stood

because - for each of us -

he always stood tall…

Wayne M. Joseph

©March 21, 2008

Donald David Joseph was the youngest of seven sons and one daughter born to Doumit and Victoria Joseph. He was born in Martins Ferry, Ohio on the 9th day of December, in the year 1928.  My treasured Uncle Don entered eternal life suddenly on Thursday, March 20, 2008.  He was 79 years old.

Uncle Don was preceded in death by both his parents and his brothers, Lefty, Eddie, Joe, Sam and Tom. His surviving siblings are his brother George and his sister, my beloved aunt, Vivian.

Uncle Don met Marie Dorothy Koury in 1950 at a Halloween Party…As my aunt tells the story, Uncle Don totally ignored his own date, and kept cutting in on Aunt Marie on the dance floor. He told her then, much to her embarrassment, that he was going to marry her. She retorted “Not in a million years”. They were wed on April 26, 1952. This year, they would have been married 56 years. There are seven children from their union…In their birth order, there is Donna, Vivian, Sara, Cindy, Donnie, Tommy and Mary Ann. There are ten (10) grandchildren and three (3) great grandchildren. Add in some wonderful sons’ and daughters-in law and you complete the picture of Uncle Don and Aunt Marie’s legacy.

After interviewing each of his children, the most compelling, family-wide response that they all held in common regarding their father was his unabashed devotion to his family and his overriding desire to keep his family together…from the ‘command performance’ Sunday meals…to their vacation condo in Del Ray Beach, Florida…from the constant weekly phone calls ostensibly to “keep in touch” but more probably to troll for a dinner invitation…Uncle Don wanted his children to stay close…and when the family Christmas gifts were things they could do together as a family, well it’s not hard to imagine the pride that must have swelled inside of him.

My Uncle Don held many jobs in his life. I remember him as a car salesman at Glenn Walker Chevrolet. He taught me an invaluable sales lesson one day while I watched him walk thru the dealership and sell 4 dozen chocolate bars for my high school candy drive in 10 minutes. He sure had a way with people. Among his other careers, he owned a Clock Restaurant and a Copy Cat Restaurant in the’70’s…and he and his family used to own a catering hall, the Carlton House for nearly 20 years. I think though his most important job was in the card room at the Hillcrest.

There are so many memories about my Uncle Don. Almost too many to recollect …We used to call him “Uncle Friendly” because he would take us to Friendly Ice Cream all the time. Also, he loved to make pancakes for his grandkids. I was told that was quite a production.

I also remember, and I’m positive I’ve never fully recovered from this, at certain functions, my uncle would cross-dress…I’m sure for the absolute entertainment and shock value of it only…From the make-up to the bad wig to the ridiculous balloons…to those sparkling blue eyes…We do have some disturbing video of these occurrences…part of our treasured family archives.

One thing that is a definite about my uncle is that he loved to gamble. There is a story, that might be ‘urban legend’, that as a boy Uncle Don entered the seminary only to be expelled for running a crap game at night. So much for the priesthood. My brother George tells me that he’d watch Uncle Don make a bet on which sugar cube a fly would land on…Although, perhaps my favorite recollection on this topic comes from my cousin Sandra who relates that all the time she was growing up she thought Uncle Don was a “book-keeper” –Keeper- Maker –Potato - Patato”. But as my brother George would say, “We all had juice, because he had juice”. My uncle would go out of his way to help anyone. Even if he didn’t have the money, he would borrow it to help someone else out of jam. His son Tom says, because he came from the streets, he loved to play the role….but there was never an insincere bone in this man’s body. He was bighearted beyond reason and generous to a fault.

This morning, it cannot go without saying, that our family has experienced a brutal amount of loss with six deaths in the last 12 months. Add to that, that we’ve lost two generational leaders, first with Cousin John’s passing in December and now, the equally unanticipated loss of our cherished Uncle Don…John’s daughter Monica said it best, recalling her father’s words… “This is both the blessing and the curse of such a large family”…and let me add, that the trouble with losing giants is that they leave colossal holes in the fabric of this family which seem so deep and so cavernous that they appear almost unfillable. Our mettle as a family is certainly being tested in fire.

That my Uncle Don led this family as the youngest of seven brothers is not really a surprise when you realize that he was always the driving force behind keeping his ancestor’s fires burning. He demonstrated through word and action all that it meant to be a leader. As one example, for over 30 years he acted as surrogate father to Aunt Viv’s family after the tragic death of Uncle Nick in 1977. As a matter of fact, when can you remember Uncle Don not being there for you? In joy or in sorrow, when you reached out, Uncle Don was there to grasp your hand…Not only that, but he held out his immediate family as a shining example of the life lessons he learned. There is no better model for what a family is, then that which his beloved wife and his ‘magnificent seven’ children have become. The Donald Joseph family would proudly display his leadership…Just look around at every Joseph function and whose faces stick out of the crowd…those of Uncle Don, Aunt Marie and their proud and humble brood…They are the steadfast branches on our family tree…and it is in that devotion that they will find the courage to weather this unexpected and unpleasant trial that they are now facing. Know that we all mourn his loss…Life doesn’t seem fair and death, even less…We rant at this cursed event...We wail at this sudden injustice…Of course you’ll miss his phone calls…you will feel lost without his advice, his counsel…yet, if we stop and ask, what would Don Joseph want from all of this…I would venture to say that he would ask each of us to use our grief as a tool to sculpt the future of our family…his family…Do not allow the sadness of this moment to become an anchor…but rather, accept this turning point in our lives as impetus to keep building…to keep demonstrating pride and respect and loyalty as you know he would have…How better to honor this man than to model his tenacity of spirit…his dedication to his family…Impart his wisdom… dispense his joy…All that was Donald David Joseph will multiply when it is shared. 

In closing, I would like to recite the words of the renowned Lebanese (and Maronite) poet Kahlil Gibran from his masterwork “The Prophet”:

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered: 

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes 

filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can 

contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine, the very cup that was burned in the 

potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was 

hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is 

only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. 

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that 

in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, 

sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, 

remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, 

needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Finally, let me quote scripture with something that sums up my Uncle Don… “God said to Moses…Moses come forth…Moses came fifth…and God lost $500 bucks”

…no more giants…

April 10, 1924 - December 3, 2013