Joseph Sophy Joseph

The Eulogy of 

HEAVEN IS IN YOUR EYES

- Julie Gold

I think I’ll go to heaven

There I will lay me down

Leave all the cares behind me

Bury them in the ground

Maybe they’ll talk about me

I pray it won’t be lies

Tell them I went to heaven

Heaven is in your eyes

I think I’ll go to heaven

I heard it’s peaceful there

They don’t allow your troubles

Everyone’s had their share

When I can be someone who

Never needs a disguise

Then I will be in heaven

Heaven is in your eyes

People in heaven

Never look back

Higher and higher

The past fades to black

I think I’ll go to heaven

Sail on into the night

Watch as I set my soul free

Watch as my heart takes flight

Maybe I am too simple

Maybe I am too wise

Maybe I’ll go to heaven

‘Cause heaven is in your eyes

Heaven is in your eyes

Joseph Sophy Joseph was born in Wheeling,  West Virginia on March 19, 1920. The man with the two same names, my redundant uncle, was actually my second uncle named Joe. Sito had given birth to a son named Joe who only lived for 6 months. Sito was reluctant to name him after her infant son who had died, but was convinced to do so when she was told that God had delivered his name because he was born on March 19th which is the feast of St. Joseph. That’s how he got his name. Uncle Joe was married for almost 35 years to Elizabeth Mary Dype, known more affectionately as Lee. Aunt Lee passed away on March 1, 1985.

My uncle had amazing abilities with his hands. In the early 1950’s, with the help of my father, as well as others, he built the home that he lived in in St. Clair Shores. He won numerous awards and blue ribbons for his woodworking talents. Uncle Joe shared his creations with all of his family, and I, for one, will cherish the wood bowls he gave to me. His workshop contained an impressive array of machinery at which he was completely adept. Privately, Uncle Joe expressed a real sense of loss when he had to give up his workshop due to his progressing illnesses.

My uncle claimed that he developed the first signal mat – the prototype for what is in common use today on most automatic doors. He also maintained that he lost the patent rights to his invention to some shady characters that he used to associate with. The truth be told, he designed his contraption to signal that the police were arriving to the inhabitants of a second story “blind pig” in the neighborhood. As Uncle Joe put it, “By the time the police made it up those stairs, you could turn that place into a church”.

My uncle was the family archivist. When I was a child, his 16 millimeter camera was always at every family event, from bowling banquets to birthday parties, from Knaywer picnics to weddings. These old films are a treasure trove of memories for our family. Uncle Joe was an enormous resource for me and Uncle Don’s family in the creation of our family films and videos. 

After the death of his beloved wife Lee, 14 years ago, the family came together to help fill the void in his life left by my Aunt’s passing. Great credit must be given to Uncle Don, Aunt Marie and their family, particularly Roseanne, who would come by and cut his hair, shave him and care for him at a moment’s notice. They would all bring Uncle Joe over for dinner or just stop by for a friendly visit. Also, my mother would call him every night just to check if he was okay. The last 3 years of my uncle’s life, he was cared for by a loving, wonderful woman named Karen Brys. On behalf of our family, let me express our sincere and deepest gratitude for all you did to make my uncle’s twilight years more humane and more dignified. The care that you so graciously provided was greatly appreciated. 

Uncle Joe and Aunt Lee had one loving daughter, Jerelyn, whose talents and business successes were always a source of great pride to them. Uncle Joe’s love for his son-in-law John Bower was on display continuously. But the real apple of his eye was his granddaughter Katie. My uncle made a Valentine for Katie and sent it to her. As Uncle Joe lay critically ill in Bon Secours Hospital and Jerelyn was set to return to her father’s bedside from Colorado, Katie told her mother to bring the Valentine to Jido and place it in his hand. Then, every time he squeezed it, it would be sending him hugs. When my uncle passed away on Saturday, he was holding Katie’s Valentine.

Oh, by the way, I do have something of an announcement to make this morning. I want you all to know that I have negotiated a deal with my mother, my aunts and my uncles. They have all agreed to live to at least 100 years of age, so we can put off all of this craziness for awhile.

I have always said that God will give us only what we can handle. When two brothers, my father and my godfather, both pass away six days apart, that is a cause for immeasurable pain. 

These events make each of us face our own mortality. My generation feels we are moving up a space in an uninvited, unwelcome line. We all feel our humanness. And we are forced to recognize our complete lack of control. All very uncomfortable feelings.

When lives so meaningful, so joyous are snatched from us, the anguish is numbing. But worry not for their departed souls. Rather, ask the question that this moment begs for…How has this family reacted to the stunning loss of two of our leaders in less than a week’s time? I am confident with all that we have learned from these two men and with all that this family stands for, we will continue to shine brightly. And the light that our love produces will be a lamp on their path to guide them to their eternal resting place.

In creating a family film entitled “To Carry Their Flame” I asked my Uncle Joe what advice he would like to give to future generations of his descendants. This was his reply: “The one advice that I would give them is that we were 7 boys and 1 girl…and we were very close…I mean don’t touch one of my brothers or my sister…and that feeling went through all of us. You’ve gotta be proud of your heritage…and I think you should never slack up on the loving of each other because that’s what makes you strong. It’s like taking a thin strand of string and wind several of them together and the first thing you know is you’ve got a strong rope. I think that’s what we have”.

Dear Lord, make this day pass. Make this gathering that is sprinkled with sorrow become flooded by joy as we release to you, our father, our brother, our uncle, our cousin, our friend. We have lived by your guidance, dear God, for all of our lives. Accept your servant Joe into your eternal kingdom. Reunite him with his beloved wife Lee – his mother Victoria – his father Doumit – his brothers Lefty and Eddie and all of his relatives and friends who have preceded him into heaven. May his spirit be alive in all of us who loved him.

In closing, I would like to share with you the words of Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet:

“You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond.

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow, your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? 

And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountaintop, then you shall begin to climb. 

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”

Now dear Lord, take back the soul of Joseph Sophy Joseph whom you have shared with us…he brought us joy…we loved him well.

Hey, Eddie, wait up! Here comes Bonzo…