John Charles Joseph

 The Eulogy of 

This is a poem I wrote especially for my cousin John, the oldest male member of my generation of the Joseph family. It is entitled:

MESSIAH…SORT OF

(for John Charles Joseph)

It wasn’t until I clattered the keyboardand his name emerged…

It wasn’t until the hammering message affixed in truth… 

It wasn’t until the ignominious word  ‘eulogy’ stared back at me like a dagger…

Then, it became real -

like his last breath…

Even now, I expected to see him whistling past the graveyard

forestalling the inevitable as he had countless times before.

As a young boy, his heart stricken in scarlet -

a life delayed but not denied…

As a man, utilizing nine lives

like a cat clawing at the Dark Angel’s gown.

Even his inability to dodge bullets hinted at immortality

a ‘messiah’…sort of -

He wore his ancestry like a majestic plume

each feather, the face of relatives who were and were yet to be.

And the days he built, though not all of them steel,

will be fashioned into skyscrapers by those of us who loved him. 

The news of his departure shattered his façade

and left us here mourning and mortal.

His death can take from us what we had –

but it cannot steal away 

who he was… 

© Wayne M. Joseph

December 17, 2007

John Charles Joseph was born in Detroit, Michigan on the twenty-second day of September in the year 1940. He was the second of four children and the only son of Thomas Sophy Joseph and Virginia “Bea” Lesha Joseph. He was 67 years of age when he passed away on Sunday, December 16, 2007.

Cousin John was married on August 7, 1965 to Geraldine Ruth Silvers whom he met at a bar called “The Baby Lounge” on Gratiot in Detroit. They were married for 42 years. When I asked Geri what was the strength of their long marriage, she replied “He really loved me and I really loved him back”. John and Geri had two daughters, Monica and Sandra and their husbands Dan Setchell and Ron Bohmer. There are two grandsons, Joseph and Michael. John is also survived by his loving sister Kathy and his brothers-in-law Sam  Bitonti and Sam Taormina plus various nieces, nephews and cousins.

John was preceded in death by his mother, Bea in 1979. His brother-in-law Abe Andary in 1990. His sister “Toots” in 1996. His sister Vickie in 2003 and his father Tom in March of this year. Obviously that is an inordinate amount of suffering to bestow on the surviving members of his immediate family…Please know special prayers are said for them and for all of you who mourn his sudden, unwelcome passing this morning.

In speaking with various members of the family, several themes rang through regarding John…Here was a man who loved surprises, from taking his grandsons on mystery trips or showing up at his nephew’s birthday party dressed up like a Mutant Ninja Turtle…He loved to laugh and to make you laugh…He enjoyed every minute of his life…he was an accomplished story-teller with a rapier-like wit and an innate knack for entertaining…You couldn’t possibly enjoy anything more than one of John’s Arabic renditions of “Take Me Out To The Ball-Game” or “Rock ‘Round The Clock”…John developed his own language filled with special words like “Kramis”, or “Sarbis” and the ever-popular “Framizate”.

Another overriding trait that John possessed was his desire to be there for his family and friends…He always wanted to help out…His prevailing desire was to take care of everybody...family or friend…it made no difference to Cousin John…he stood ready and willing to lend a hand…

Family and the legacy of tradition were John’s religion... He was an incomparable husband…the consummate father…the supportive brother…He was your first phone call…your personal Map-Quest…your trusted advisor…your source authority…your new best friend…

He was your oxygen…

But no description of John Joseph can be complete without that four letter word he loved the most…GOLF…This man, quite simply, lived for golf…There wasn’t a golf course in this state that he hadn’t played…We would check with John for his opinion on courses before we made tee-times…I also believed John’s only reason to visit his daughter Monica while she lived in Europe was to get a chance to play the Old Course at St Andrews, which he did…But, was there ever a passion for a golf tournament like the one John displayed for the Camelback? Talk about family, tradition and golf all rolled into one…Will the tournament survive without his leadership and guidance? Will they ever be able to replace “The Messiah”? Maybe, but certainly there will be an enormous hole to fill…

We were blessed that we were able to share John for nearly 7 decades as the specter of heart disease followed him from his childhood. After contracting Scarlet Fever, his mother, our beloved Aunt Bea, took John to see Venerable Solanus Casey at the Capuchin Monastery. Father Casey blessed John and placed his skull cap on him and assured them that the boy would be just fine. Father Casey’s skull cap remains a treasured relic in the family today.

John struggled with the ravages of heart disease throughout the last 30 years spending countless hours with cardiologists and stress tests and stints and on and on…but, perhaps the most cathartic event in John’s life occurred in 1992 when a disgruntled customer with a hand-gun shot John twice and killed John’s dear friend and co-worker Ray Waters…What enduring effect this tragedy had on John only he knew for certain, but the fact remains, he did live to tell about it and he was a changed man forever…a man with a big heart, but a soft heart. 

John Joseph’s life is a life that meant something. Whether you are prepared or not, someday this all comes to an end. For John, there will be no more sunrises, no more minutes, hours, days. All the things he cherished or collected will become hand-me-downs. Material wealth, fame and power will all wither to insignificance. It will not matter what was owned or owed. His hopes, ambitions, plans have all expired. Wins and losses that seemed so important have simply faded away. So what does matter? It is not what John bought, but what he built. Not what he got, but what he gave. Not his success, but his significance. What matters is his every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice. What matters is not John’s competence, but his character. What counts is not how many people he knew, but how many people will feel a lasting loss now that John is gone. Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It is not a matter of circumstance, but, rather, a matter of choice. Yes, dear family and friends, this life, the life of John Joseph that we remember here today, mattered.

In closing, I would like to share with you excerpts from two works that held significance in John’s life. The first excerpt is lyrics from a song in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical Phantom of the Opera…and the second by the renowned Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran is from The Prophet …This an excerpt from Phantom:

WISHING YOU WERE SOMEHOW HERE AGAIN

You were once my one companion.  You were all that mattered.  

You were once a friend and father.  Then my world was shattered.

Wishing you were somehow here again.

Wishing you were somehow near.  

Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed.  Somehow you would be here. 

Wishing I could hear your voice again.  Knowing that I never would. 

Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could.

Passing bells and sculpted angels. Cold and monumental.  

Seem for you the wrong companions  You were warm and gentle.

Wishing you were somehow here again.

Knowing we must say goodbye.

Help me say goodbye.

Now this passage from The Prophet:

“Brief were my days among you, and briefer still the words I have spoken. 

The wind bids me leave you. Less hasty am I than the wind, yet I must go. 

No sunrise finds me where sunset left me. I am the seeds of a tenacious plant,

and it is in my ripeness and my fullness of heart that I am given to the wind and am scattered”

 – Kahlil Gibran

Fore God! The Messiah wants to play through…